There is a serious danger driving the gay youth to seek out insane and potentially fatal ways of addressing their sexuality. It is worse than the church-driven electric shock conversion methods enforced by religious parents or the increasingly popular ex-gay therapy. The reason for a spike in gay teens actively exploring alternatives to living as a homosexual is gay men.

Suicides are up among teenagers in the gay community and that community has turned a blind Dolce & Gabanna-shaded eye. Many gay teens literally hate the thought of being gay. 19 year-old Shane from Kansas, who identifies himself as being gay, said in an interview that he saw gays and homosexuality both as “disgusting.” His further depiction of what it personally meant to be gay was based on fashion, mannerisms, and overt hedonist behavior.  

And where could he and so many other gay youths get this image? When shows like Queer As Folk hit the mainstream, producers and gay viewers alike ignored calls from organizations worried about the ramifications of sexualizing gay life in order to see two men (or more) get it on and the occasional frontal nude shot. Since then, the new millennium has featured a decidedly one-sided portrait in Hollywood of what it means to be gay and the vast majority of the gay community has either endorsed it or remained silent.

In the 90’s, the portrayal of homosexuality in the media was criticized as being stale, boring, and asexual, but many of those gays were role models. Characters like Matt Fielding on Melrose Place or Danny Roberts and Chris Beckman from earlier seasons of The Real World gave all gays, but especially the younger ones struggling with identity, people to identify with and admire. Now with a wider media presence, there are fewer positive gay images.  

But perhaps the biggest offender of gay men letting down gay youth is the celebration of Pride. Gays forgot that straight people are not the only ones watching during the pride ceremonies, but young children and teens desperately needing a counterview for all the demeaning depictions of homosexuality coming at them from all directions. Instead, they are shown a parade of flesh and fetishes that is meant to represent the pride of being gay by a distinctively segregated crowd.

No one is saying that gays should march in three-piece suits or mute their excitement, but just be somewhat cognoscente.  More than ever, gays are screaming for equal rights but are dodging their responsibility to their own community much too often. Adopting a more responsible image of what it means to be gay is paramount in preventing suicides by gay youths, but also in preventing future Ted Haggards and Larry Craigs.

by Loic Renin